Approximately 5 years ago at this time,

- i was playing dota. N err, i think im still playing dota. LOL <-- on my twitter lol

hahaha that was so random. Saw that off melia news feed and decided that its a fun exercise (to come up with my own version)! so i just look back at my archives and to my "horror"/pleasant surprise... i was still playing dota!!! LOL time flies but some things nv change! at least the things u choose not to. hahaha :)

yea i was actually thinking about other things but upon scanning my blog i came across that... haa

Dun worry i have many other examples, like... heh heh

Approximately 5 years ago at this time,

- i was in poly, training for wss mechatronics '06, to try to smoke my way into uni.

which i did. congratulations. Hmmm this was the original title actually. Yea I did it. Good for me i guess. Yea good for me, thats all. wad else can i say really. sadly. there's nothing more to it. I tried. n I succeeded. thats all. nobody really cares. u better survive ur last yr n graduate in one piece i tell u.

- i was playing Wo W, thinking of quitting.

which i did. congratulations. nah i nv like that game i tell u. After lv 60 its kinda fail. As a game its good. But the whole idea of getting good gear, then the new patch comes out, your good gear gets obsolete and the whole cycle repeat itself is just stupid. Then y even bother? just wait 4 the nxt patch lah. i noe u nid good gear to stay on top. But u c... its totally pointless considering the amt of effort u nid. lol n dun even get me to go into raiding. The hardest part of raiding is actually getting the people, that is, getting 40 people to come online at the same time (its like planning a project meeting for 40 people, i think 5 will kill alr lol). AND getting them to commit the nxt good 5 hrs playing (rmb there is alot of organisation and walking/dying/ressing/toilet break/etc. etc). N all that just to get gear that u know will be obsolete soon. Nah i'd rather keep my weekends free. of cuz they r hardcore people, but im not one of them. The 5 man r really fun tho, but again u r "tied" to the group for the certain time. which makes it very hard when u want to play 4 short amounts of time. I cant believe i type so much abt game. lol. Come to think of it, i dun really game much now. Too bz going out/dota/doing nothing to commit to a mmo. not like i dun like gaming, but i have grown too lazy to game. Reached a higher lv alr haha.

- i just joined video not long ago, just learnt cam 5, and was so looking forward to serving when its my turn.

which i still am =) heh ya i still am haha, maybe the look forward part decrease abit, nv really get to do much cam 5 much these days, dun really hang the "just joined" tag ard anymore, but im still in video. yup haha im still in video. I think i commemorated my 5 years in video recently, so this is a repeat post. Guess i will just keep it short here. One thing to say tho, is that may i be constantly reminded of Who and Why im serving, instead of just focusing on the serving itself.

- I was single and emo.

which i still am!! lolz just kidding. hahahahahahaha :P

Haha a fun exercise indeed. Seems like i have advanced much, achieved my goals, n got wad i want in life. Indestructible eh? Looking life at my life 5 years ago feels like the same to me. lol. But i know its not. I know the times have changed. They always have ...

And now i wonder wad the next "5 years ago post" would bring, with me at 29, almost reaching that dreaded 30. Oo seems like many things... maybe life would still be the same?? similar at least? Or would i not be able to recognize myself alr? i dunno. haha.

[wall of text assault!]

Nv knew wad 2 do, wish some1 will juz tell me, but den it nv happens.I can only do wad little i noe, but nv knowing if tats wad i shld do.

hahaha thats quite a long title!! lol i wanted to tweet this initially, but i decided not to since its too 'emo' alr, better not. Enuff emo people ard, not point adding 1 more to the count lol.

Yup such a long title wonder wad it means.... hmmmmmm

Thats just it. I never knew wad to do in life. Nv knew how to go abt doing things. I'm basically totally lost. At times i may look like i noe, but thats just me pretending, i really do not noe i just act like i do cuz i have no choice. I c problems n situations ard me, but i nv knew wad to do. Thats just it, i just look. I nv know, i nv do, n i guess i nv will. Many times i wish i'd rather not c, i'd rather not know, but thats just wishful thinking.

I wish people will just tell me. Like how cook books instruct u step by step. If only life is so simple, if u want smthing, u just follow a certain set of instructions and thats it. If people nid ur help, they just list down their own set of instructions n thats it.

But no, apparently u have to guess. And the only thing i noe is wad i can do, which i dunno if its wad is required. Sometimes i cant do wad is required. Sometimes i can but i didnt do so. How am i suppose to noe if im not told? How am i supposed to read all the signs and make all the assumptions? wad if i make the wrong assumptions? When am i supposed to come in? What if its too early? what if its too late? what if im not supposed to do anything at all? how do i noe? how can i ever noe really if im not told? how? how? what consequences will my actions bring abt? good? bad? spoilt the course of history? saved some1's life? Now how do i noe what to do??? hoooowwww?

So i just look to myself, trying to do the little best i could. Hoping that its enough, but i nv know. I. just. hope. its. enough. Keep on hoping. Nothing more.

I know. yes i know. I just do not know how. I just do not know wad.

Haha i wish i won't think so much, that i can just live life for e moment, do wadeva i like, do wadeva i want, at wadeva time i want, with whoever that is ard. If only it can be made so simple, if only :)

[dunnoe say dunnoe]

bump bump

lol im at the waiting to slp state ... pause a bit dunno wad to do, so spam my blog.

ya i dunno shld i blog? write about the same things again??? hmm guess thats kinda boring. So i will leave it at that...

nah i changed my mind. I will blog. ok blog abt friends. What abt friends? Nah recently just got thinking/reflecting on the friends i have. It just. seemed. impossible. Each has their own story lol its really interesting. I guess life's journey just plays itself out, i'm really blessed in such a way. Just to c how each one of them has grown throughout the years, the changes that we undergo, the similarities that we share, goes beyond words. lol.

Maybe thats wad u get when u live in the same area ur whole life and attend the same church. But i must say i have no regrets in this area. If i get the chance to go back in time and relive my life, i would change nothing, still make the same friends, and wanna meet/befriend them the same way again :):):)

[Blessed]

english phaill

I do not know what to do
I only do what little i could
not knowing if its ever enough
just happy to know i did what i should ...

Yea im turning emo!!!
nah im not, too much time sitting at home stoning. I'm the king of stoning after all.

How can i be emo, its holidays now! smiley spam!!111!!!!1!1!!! :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

[okok]

Its a lie

I'm annoyed. MOE has been lying to us all these years. What nonsense talk about diversified education, alternative paths blah blah blah...

haiz it all started when i met my sec sch classmate today. Hmm he asked me if i c any1 around and i had to think hard. I thought really hard, really really hard but then i realized, there is no1. Crap no1, fine only jon, but he was 2nd in class. I was 2nd in class too ... counting from behind that is... zzzzzzzzz

dumb system segregating people from birth. well they can say wadeva they want, but i just look around me n i know something is wrong ...

So...

1. PSLE is your first shot in life, think of it as the start point of building a char. If u screw up now, ur build is spoilt and should probably reroll. But unfortunately, life offers no rerolls so QQ.

2. Then u go up to sec sch. You get a second chance to amend whatever errors u have made to ur previous build. But rmb, its always much harder to modify than to reroll. So its gonna be really uphill n u gotta work alot harder.

3. Finally comes the stage where the filtering really begins. Good if u enter jc, just don't screw up and ur chances r good. But if u get into poly, ha then u better hope u r either:
(a) a genius
(b) in engineering

Lastly, if u get into ITE, gg. Well u can still come back, but u probably nid +10 gears or something.

4. Congrats if u made it to local u, u r now 1 tier above the rest. If u r a genius, than good 4 u. If u r in engineering, have fun competing against our very own FT. Good luck. You need it.
If u did not get into one of the local uni, then happy hunting. You are now playing on 'hard' mode. gg.

Not saying that its really that bad, my only gripe is that it all starts too early, and there r too many tiers where u could fail. And getting up is so difficult, its not even funny anymore :(

[/endrandomrant]

peace

As i grow older, as my circle of friends grow smaller, as people began to settle down, get bz with stuff etc etc, i can't help but notice one thing. There is more peace in my life now. Alot more. Alot, alot, alot more .... Maybe this is maturity, but one thing i noe, im a happier person now =)

[seems wrong that less friends = happier me. zzz i dunno really ...]

packed

Long day.. pool, spd drama, 3pm, rehearsal, f1 and world cup finals later. lol ok too much sports hahaha ...

+1 to drama produced by me. Really impressed by the standard put in despite having only 1 rehearsal. yea i got this phobia of standards dropping, haaa must have set the bar too high lolx

think thats all. For now i live life a day at a time, w/o a worry nor a care in this world, just doing what needs to be done at the time i am needed.

Simple really. Wish me luck. Goodbye =)

[.....]

Tired

heh ate alot today, yup another tech gathering, this time i'm e only leader. So guess wad? i did what i'm best at. Playing games! monopoly deal lolx ...
nah cannot discuss stuff with me only, so yup. running out of ideas alr. things always look good to me :)

So with life going on all ard me i will be slacking all over the land. Yea living the dream life many will be envious of, well if u cant die of boredom lol.

N player 3 will be coming my hse later today. N life goes on n on.

With me MIA from blogging 4 so long i owe an explanation i guess.

Lets just say ... nothing happened.

Robocup ended.
1 more year in uni left.
players still in auzzie.
still playing dota/luna.
everything else is good and going on =)

that is all.

[all i ask for is strength to continue ...]